Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Thank you Lord - we have Michelle Bachmann's Chart!!!!!

Michelle Bachmann was SO intent on proving to everyone that she was a "real" American unlike you know who in the White House that she proudly told the "Des Moines Register" that she was born "at 12:08 on July 6." We have a time - but like so much of Mickey Girl - it is half-baked. Is it AM or PM? Well-armed with at least some kind of time, we hand maidens of Satan, astrologers, cracked open our computers to see if we can figure out which is more plausible. After reading several analyses and studying the possibilities, I concur with a majority of political astrologers that it was noon. Besides, if you are born at midnight most people would say midnight or 12:08 in the morning. By just saying 12:08 it sort of implies noon to me.

Also, the noon time chart places Jupiter in the 5th house - a perfect place for someone to manifest many children. (Mia Farrow has the same placement although I think her style of raising children (I refuse to say parenting) might be a tad different than Mickey Girl's.
Most importantly, the noon chart places her rising sign - how she projects in the world - as Aries - the archetype of aggressive, militant dominant energy. Uh Duh? The ruler of Aries, Mars, is in Pisces in the 12th house in her chart. The 12th house is how we connect to the universe, the god-source. Mars in Pisces is one of those funny oxymoronic placements - it makes one feel like a warrior for God. Because Pisces vibrates to the 12th house she has a double dose of this spiritual warrior stuff that flows right out into the world. (I could say that craps all over the world but I am really, really trying to be nice here.)
Even spookier - she has a retrograded Neptune (ruler of Pisces) conjunct her Vesta in the 7th house. In English, that means that she is dedicated (Vesta) to bringing her somewhat deluded spiritual views to people on a very personal level (7th House.) In other words, she is frustrated proselytizer. She really believes this stuff. It is a part of her big time.

The bad news for liberals is her Venus (albeit it retrograded), Mercury conjunction in Gemini in the 3rd house - the natural house of Gemini. Retrogrades remember are pauses for karma and they cause the person to have issues in these areas that they should reflect upon and work out.). Venus, the goddess of beauty along with the communicator Mercury in Mercury and in Mercury's house means she is not to be underestimated when it comes to her ability to communicate. She has some talents in that area.

The good news is that with these retrogrades and with the arrogant Aries rising she will say things that will shock anyone comfortable with living in a world that has progressed past the year 1510. It won't be because she is a goofball a la Palin; it will be because she believes them and is arrogant enough to think everyone should believe her word too. With her South Node also in Gemini, she has lots of life times of communicating to people and sadly she doesn't think she is done with that yet.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Astrological Gift Baskets Are Here!

Photo by Eric G Brown
I am happy to tell you that I have teamed up with CandC Gift Baskets, to produce Astrological Gifts
Each basket is unique and will contain a frame- able astrological chart as well as a full 60 - 90 minute interpretation by yours truly on a thumb drive.

This is a wonderful wedding, birth, birthday or holiday gift and you won't find a more personal gift!

Order them on the C and C website. www.candcgiftbaskets.com or by calling 888 534 3660!

Get a jump on holiday shopping!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Retrograded Pluto - A Good Time to Refresh

Courtesy of Arlene Weinstock
Pluto has been in retrograde for the past few months and will not go direct again until September 16. Pluto is the planet of change and transformation - and makes us want to eliminate and release the old, outworn, outdated and obsolete in our lives. When Pluto goes retrograde, it is the perfect time to go deep within yourself - do some deep deep soul searching and get rid of the attitudes and ideas that simply don't work anymore. Think of it as a house cleaning of your inner workings

Ask yourself the questions - what do I really need in my life - what do I really want - what is working for me or what I am doing because I feel I should. THere is nothing worse than a bad case of the shoulds. It is a time to ask - who do I want to be when I grow up (no matter your age.)

Pluto which rules Scorpio, the detective of zodiac, wants us to investigate - go deep and investigate - those patterns that don't work for us. This isn't a time for lying to yourself or anyone else. It is a time for brutal honesty. This job, this relationship, this activity -- does it really serve me or am I doing it because (insert reason here)?

This is a time for regeneration - for detoxing not only the body but the entire lifestyle you now have Get quiet, go deep and be honest. Get rid of what no longer works and make way for the new fruitful ways of life.

Look at your personal chart and see where Pluto is now transiting. (I can whip one up for you.) That is the area that Pluto is calling you to examine and change. Use the retrograde - heed the call of Pluto - if he isn't heard he will cause a change - change or be changed. Isn't it better to be in control of the change?

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Full Moon

Don't forget to catch the full Moon! It is so pretty over the Ocean here in Maine! The Moon is "full" when it is directly opposite - or the furthest away from the Sun -- because it isn't competing with Sun energy we can see it at its maximum.....

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Astrology of Sea Gulls

Last week we made the Earth changing revelation about the astrological make up of lobsters…this week it is sea gulls. No, I am not joking.  Here in Maine the sea gulls rule to skies over the Atlantic and with their screaming squawks and cries they let you know they are around. It is hard to describe the noises they make. It is a cross between a cry and a war whoop. Mercury conjunct Uranus I said to myself – what else could make such a crazy voice! If you are old enough to remember Howard Cosell, the sports commentator, you remember his very distinctive voice. He epitomized a Mercury (the planet of communications) conjunction Uranus – the wild and unpredictable planet.  If you hear a funny voice think Mercury in Aquarius or aspected with Uranus (the planet that rules Aquarius.)

Gulls live in noisy, packed communities which they leave to scavenge for food. Fourth house cusp – the cusp of family and roots – must be opened by Aries. Aries, the ancient god of war, would be a perfect setting for a noisy, active home life occupied by scavengers! I would even say that Mars, the planet that rules Aries, is in Aries natally in the chart of our gull friends. There is just way too much male energy in those communities.

To those of you who think I may have gone off the edge with the animal astrology bit don’t worry. It is just a fun way to explain the many way astrology can play out. Besides, the only other things I have seen around here are chipmunks, moose and skunks….no matter how hard I try I just don’t have it in me to try to figure out what makes them tick.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Astrology of Lobsters - Part 2 - The Real Lobsters....

Courtesy of Arlene Weinstock
So I am up in Maine making my annual escape from the Virginia heat and I am trying to think of a blog entry. Maine is conducive to many things including deep introspection but for some reason my imagination is failing me.... what to write what to write? My mind wanders. I had a lobster Cobb salad last night - very yummy. Lobster - that is it - I will write the Astrology of Lobsters. Now that is silly, Joan, I hear my subconscious saying. How can you know the exact day and time that lobsters came into being on Earth? I can't of course but I when in doubt - heck, make things up. It works for the news media, why not me?

So with the help of Wikipedia I present to you the real Astrology of lobsters. "Lobsters...have blue blood due to the presence of haemocyanin, which contains copper." Blue blood? They must have Leo rising. After all, Leo is the king - the ruling lion of the Zodiac. Think about it - even though they often wind up on our dinner plates, they do demand a king's ransom before allowing us to eat them. There is nothing cheap and tawdry about them. How Leo of them. Besides, how do you think they got that big claw? It had to be from preening their shells!

Again thanks to Wiki I learned that, "Recent research suggests that lobsters may not slow down, weaken, or lose fertility with age. In fact, older lobsters are more fertile than younger lobsters. This longevity may be due to telomerase, an enzyme that repairs DNA sequences of the form "TTAGGG."
A ha - they must have Venus in Aries! Aries is the masculine, fire sign - if you want an aggressive lover find an Aries. Go Lobsters.

As for Moon sign - I have to go with Pisces. After all, for all of their airs, they do wind up on your platter more often than not, a martyr to Man's insatiable appetite. They might even jump into the traps to save another - cuter - species - now that would be a very Piscean move.

So the next time you are pouring butter over one of these crustacean friends, remember his Leo and give him due homage, remember his Aries and keep the antacid close by in case his fire burns in your stomach and don't forget to thank him for his sacrifice.

Gotta go - there is a new restaurant on Goose Rocks Beach that has oven roasted lobster on their menu. I can't miss that.

Karmic Astrology by Joan's Fan Box