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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Thanks for the Cancer scare

The question arose – what is going on in my own chart. There is no harder animal to interpret than my own chart! Right now I have transiting Juno in conjunction with transiting Uranus (both in my 6th house – the house of health as well as day to day work) opposing my natal Vesta which is in the 12th house in Virgo. Uranus and Juno are now in Pisces, the ruler of the 12th house (the keeper of the keys to the secrets of the universe) - - so this seems pretty significant.
To make matters more interesting, my natal Saturn/Juno conjunction in my 2nd house (the house of self worth and self possessions) is making a flowing aspect to the charming duo of transiting Uranus/Juno (I know that is a lot to picture but go with me here – Vesta on one side – Uranus/Juno in exact opposition and Saturn and natal Juno in between them.)

I was having a tough time with this until the universe handed me a very unique gift. Last Friday, I received a letter from the Virginia Hospital center which what I thought would be the mundane results of my yearly mammography…basically; everything is fine see you next year. This year the letter was longer and started off with, “We need you to come back for further analysis…..” Oh dear not what I was looking for! Hey thanks Uranus – you love to shake things up don’t you and there you are in my house of health. Isn’t it good enough for you that I fell flat on my face two darn times this past month???

Ok so now the mind goes in 1000 directions. Somewhere between, oh this happens to everyone occasionally and Lordie I am dead – my mind suddenly clicked on this question. How would I live my life if I knew I had cancer? What would I change? How would Cancer give me the license to be more authentic? Suddenly, I understood my planetary conundrum… Vesta is the burning heart’s desire –what we want to dedicate ourselves to. Mine is natally in the 12th house so my search for my universal truth is very important to me in this life. However, with Juno, the asteroid that shows where we dedicate ourselves to something else – where we stick to “other” sitting next to Uranus, that trickster in the 6th – the question was now clear. What parts of my life am I still too worried about what others think or how I can fit in with other people’s wishes and desires – to the neglect of my own search?

A cancer diagnoses would give me a license to be more authentic. But why did I have to lean on such a crutch? Why couldn’t I be more authentic just for the heck of it - on my own strength and willpower?

I was comforted in the few days before my follow up tests by the fact that the Uranus/Juno transit was making a harmonious relationship to my natal Saturn/Juno in the 2nd house. This is just a good lesson I said – and this will help me rely more on myself image and stop trying to see reflections in others. I kept repeating that as I waited yesterday first for the results of a second mammography and then when the technician said the Doctor wanted to take an ultrasound. I waited and repeated ---. This is just a lesson to say live more authentically – live for self and say that is how you will build your self worth.

After three “lovely “ hours I heard the Doctor say that the ultrasound showed that there was nothing there – just some anomaly of the way mammography’s read certain tissue. As I thanked him for being so diligent (a sharp-eyed radiologist caught my sister’s cancer in very early stages years ago) and then melted off the table – I thanked the universe for the outcome and the lesson. Just one thing – hey Uranus can you move the heck out of my sixth house? You made your point OK?

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