Oh No Not You Again! How You Can Find The Karma That Binds

Do you have a family member who just drives you around the bend…someone who pushes every button, who manipulates and uses you and your emotions? Yeah, well join the club. Maybe now is the time to try to figure out the deep, karmic reasons for this person being in your life this go around. It may not stop the person from being a pain but understanding where they are coming from goes a long way in keeping your headache away. Knowing where you are destined to travel with this person during this incarnation can also help mitigate any negative karmic influences for the future.


Some of the best tools an astrologer has are the synastry chart and the Davison combined chart. A synastry chart is a grid that matches one chart against the other. If your Venus is squared the other person’s Venus any romantic relationship is going to be bumpy. If your Venus is square their Uranus – well you may have a quick love that ends suddenly. If we see Mars and Saturn together especially in romantic relationships or child/parent combinations we have to warn about potential violence. By examining each planetary aspect we can get a pretty good picture how you and the other person will interact.

We can take this one step further with a Davison Relationship Chart. This combines both charts into a single chart. So we take your chart and Pain in the Neck Relative’s chart and make a new chart that combines the two. Then the real fun begins. By coming up with a new chart just for your relationship, we can read it like a birth chart and look into your past lives together. For instance, I put the chart of a rather heinous member of my family together with mine. The placement of Pluto in Leo in the 8th house shows that in our past lives we were involved in a power game. 8th house is power and Leo is the Lion who wants the center of attention. Our combined Pluto is in conjunction with Ceres – the mini planet that was the ancient symbol of Mother Nature – as well as Mars and Venus. All of these planets are in Virgo. This is a male-female power struggle over who can organize and structure (Virgo) issues surrounding goods and money.

Our current soul desire is to – what we should be getting out of this to evolve – is indicated by Pisces in the 2nd house (the opposite of past Pluto). This means that we should be teaching each other how to connect with self and accept who they are. Well, I know that through the pain of this relationship I took a huge step in learning who I am. I hope my family member has done the same but I am not sure. It was a torturous lesson but they taught it to me that is for sure!

Our South Node in Cancer in the 7th shows that we were linked in a very personal close relationship. Ironically, our combined South Node is conjunct both Uranus – the quick change artist and the rebel and Juno, the consort asteroid which indicates where our loyalty lies. The first image I see flash before me is two people married to each other who fought and separated and played tricks and fought and separated but never left each other. It was a horrible death struggle of constant battle and tricks. Sadly, that was symbolic of our current relationship. Although not married this time – we are linked as immediate family and until I walked away and said you can’t be part of my life if you can’t treat me as a human – this was the exact relationship we had.

With our combined North Node in Capricorn in the 1st we are both destined to learn how to embody ourselves. The first house is the house of personality and Capricorn is all about putting form and structure around something. I know that I have fulfilled this North Node command. Through the Hell this relationship put me through I had to say no more. I had to go inside and learn about myself and define myself and be true to that self. Again, did the other person learn this? Only they can know. I can only hope but from what I hear I doubt it.

Through this analysis I can look back and actually be thankful for this person. It was a horrible lesson but once learned it propelled me much further on my evolutionary track. I not only defined who I am more clearly (a first house issue), I realized I had more self worth than I had thought before (a second house issue.) Even if I lost every other member of my family I had to be true to myself and stop the attacks and secret tricks. I stopped the negative karmic identity we held as the two battling cats in a sack as indicated by our South Node, I learned the lessons and moved on in my life.

If we meet again in future lives I won’t fall back into that old South Node pattern – I stopped that karma. If this person comes to me with negative energy again I will have the subconscious memory of what I did in this lifetime and will be able to walk away. If they too have learned the lessons then hopefully we can come back together in a positive fashion and help either other in a much less painful way. Here is hoping!