FULL HARVEST MOON TONIGHT!

How many ways can you say emotional? Tonight the Full Moon is in Pisces and is in conjunction with the wounded warrior Chiron. A Pisces Full Moon is always an emotional time as it occurs in the month when we go from the full bloom of summer to the dying process of autumn. While this is indicative of the entire birth-death-rebirth process of life, there is something sad to many of us when we see it materialize before us. Pisces is the dreamer sign and the sign that tends toward feeling victimized. It is easy to just pout and dream of the recently gone summer days then get on with life during this transit.

The Moon with Chiron, the asteroid of the wounded warrior, where we keep our deepest pain submerged from ourselves, creates a lot of stick our head in the sand and dream of a prettier world type of energy. Chiron in Pisces stirs up painful memories of the long ago and far away, that we would rather keep buried.

Those people prone to depression, drug dependency and other escapist temptations should be very careful for the next few days. This is a highly emotional time of balancing deep feelings and can be too much for those easily effected by this type of upheaval.

If you need to keep your eye on something for stabilization use that Virgo Sun. Virgo is the worker of the zodiac, the practical, Earth Keeper. Hey, there is a good idea, get out of your sadness and go do something good for Mother Earth. Harvest the last of your garden; go buy some winter rye to protect it this winter. If you do not have a garden then visit a farmers market, get some mums for your front door. Go dig up your mother’s favorite autumn recipe and balance the sadness with fond memories.

Speaking of a good and happy autumnal recipe check out my:

Zucchini, Chocolate Cookies

Makes about 3 dozen large cookies

1-cup applesauce

2 eggs plus 1 egg white

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract

2 cups coconut flour

1-cup chocolate chips

½-cup coconut flakes

1-teaspoon baking soda

½-teaspoon salt

1 3/4 cups grated zucchini

2 teaspoons nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and spray cookie sheets with cooking spray or line with parchment paper. In a medium bowl, mix well the ingredients except the zucchini. Once well mixed, fold in the grated zucchini. Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto the prepared cookie sheets.

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

These freeze well!

Robin Williams - The Two Faces of Pisces Duality and Ultimate Triumph

Ah, another great talent and great humanitarian gone. I don’t know why great talent is hindered by great torment.

His addiction problems are evident to even the most neophyte of astrologers with his Pisces Moon, Neptune in the 12^th house. Neptune rules Pisces and vibrates to the 12^th house – that is just a lot of Pisces with all of its escapist, addictive tendencies, for one person to handle. Pisces is a sign of duality symbolized by two fish swimming in opposite directions. It is a tough sign to handle here on Earth.

The great ability to take on so many personas on stage and play so many varied roles is clearly seen in his Pluto Mercury conjunction in the ever “on stage” 10^th house. Pluto the change artist and Mercury the communicator together in Leo – the sign of creativity in the house that seeks societal approval was just one key to his talent.

What I find most poignant about his chart is his Pisces North Node. Robin’s past life indicator (his South Node) was Virgo in the 11^th house – meaning that he came from a life of service in which he sought to perfect himself. In fact, Virgo can be quite the task master, always critical, always demanding perfection to a person. He spent lifetimes managing his social circle (11^th house) – keeping them together, doing everything to keep his friends – his tribe – happy and functioning. You know the guy who always plans the birthdays, keeps everyone in touch.

In this lifetime he needed to learn the lessons of Pisces North Node in the 5^th house. The 5^th is the house of personal creativity and Pisces is an expansive sign. Moving from Virgo to Pisces one must broaden themselves – jump into the bigger world. These are the notes I made when studying this nodal placement. “This person must learn that all the world is a stage and everyone is a player. There is no need to stay in control of his little group but learn that personal, creative expression is the highest path to God. One way they can do this is to reach people with great art.”

For all of his Pisces demons, no one with a heart or brain can doubt that Robin Williams fulfilled his soul’s evolutionary goal in this lifetime and brought joy to millions by doing so. RIP.

Get Sensitive Go Within – Pisces New Moon – March

Our next New Moon* will be at 10 degrees Pisces on March 1. Actually it will be a Pisces-palooza because the Sun, Moon, Neptune, Chiron and Juno will all be conjunct one another in Pisces!  This is a highly sensitive time – if you are someone prone to feeling life’s agitations at their fullest – this conjunction with the wound issue, Chiron, being present can make for a cranky few days.

However, the New Moon is a wonderful time for setting intentions – making new starts. It is at the beginning of the phase – a restart. This new Moon is a good time to set the intention to dig deep inside yourself and find a new way to express your dreams. In fact, pay attention to your dreams. With my Pisces Moon I have been having an amazing number of truly “telling dreams” this week. Ones that don’t leave you – that have a message.

What are your reveries? Have you paid attention to them – worked them or have they stayed in your dream state? Are you “living the dream” or too consumed with the mundane? This is the time to think deeply about them and then act.

Where will the New Moon take place in your chart? If you are familiar with the symbol of Pisces -

look for it in your chart…best if you have a planet in Pisces. If there are no planets then look to the outside “cusp” wheel – find the house that has Pisces on it. Then see the degree marker for that cusp – so if it is a two degrees – then count clockwise eight degrees and you will be at ten degrees Pisces. ON THE OTHER HAND, just email me at Joansastrology@gmail.com. If I have your chart on file, I can tell you immediately where this New Moon will influence you most. If not, you will need to give me your time, place, and date of birth.

In any case, use this time to do more than wish upon a Moon it is time to make your wishes manifest into reality.

*The New Moon is the first phase of the Moon – when it is closest to the Sun as seen from our perspective. It is the opposite of the Full Moon when the Sun and Moon are opposing one another. 

The Astrology Of Downton

The last episode of season four of “Downton Abbey” aired in the United States. (Darn those short British seasons.) Despite starting a bit slow for me it ending in full Downton splendor and it got me to thinking about the astrological makeup of the main characters. All great fictional characters have strong astrological characteristics. I mean, is there a more perfect Aries than Scarlett O’Hara?

So, who are those people of Downton? Let’s start with my favorite character and the matriarch, The Dowager. Shooting from the hip with all due and undue honesty yet able to be rather sneaky when needed, she is a good example of a Sagittarius rising with a Scorpio Sun.

Her son, “His Lordship,” being stubbornly stuck in the past and very much in love in opulence is a double Earth sign influence. I vote for Capricorn rising and a Taurus Sun.

Cora Grantham, his wife, the American who is very comfortable in English peerage has many planets, Sun and Mercury at least, in the 9^th house – the house that deals with foreign travel. That Sun is in Aquarius, which gave her the impetus to move far from her roots. However, what attracted her to Lord Grantham was that shared Taurus because that is her rising sign.  Her gentle elegance and her true love for the land has to be from Taurus! Cora’s mother, is another Sagittarius rising – which is why she battles the Dowager. However, she is all Aries sun – she never backs down from, in fact searches out a good fight.

Mary has got to be heavily loaded with Leo. Her regal haughtiness, her ability to be self-centered all point to Leo rising. That fuels her love of money but her love for Downton itself and her insistence on formality and rules makes her a good candidate to be a Capricorn Sun.

Her hapless sister Edith is so Pisces. She just doesn’t “get it.”  Living is so complicated and she is so good at being victimized she can be nothing but Pisces rising. With her self-doubt and self-criticism, Edith is someone with a strong Virgo Sun.

What about some of the more colorful servants. Mrs. Patmore is all Cancer – motherly, warm and a great cook – Cancer rising with a Libra Sun that helps her balance between the upstairs and downstairs so easily.

Mr. Carson – is nothing but Virgo. Come on! He is disciplined, persnickety, and organized to his Virgo core. However, I think his budding romance with another Virgo Sun, Mrs. Hughes, will bring out his softer side no matter how deeply buried. Carson may have Virgo rising and a Virgo Sun but I think he has a Libra Moon that makes him a bit human – sometimes.

Tom is a confused Gemini rising with a Cancer Sun. He is very good at being vocal about his causes but when he lost his heart after his wife’s death, he sought comfort in her family.

Oh and yes Mr. Bates, the self-admitted brooder who has a shady side despite being sexy as hell and often victimized by outside forces is Scorpio rising with Pisces Sun. Still waters do run deep and he is all water sign. His beloved Anna, Cancer rising, she needs water to appeal to Bates, and a self-deprecating Virgo Sun. 

The Moons of February - Get Ready for Pisces Energy

YES! There was a full Moon on Valentine's Day and it was in Leo. I didn't post that information and heard from a few people about that. Sorry! So for your planning  - there will be a new Moon on February 28th and it will be in Pisces. For those who do new Moon manifestations - this is a very spiritual Moon.  Not only will the Moon be in Pisces, but it will be conjunct with Neptune, the planet the rules Pisces. There is no better time to let the imagination and your spiritual awareness soar.

Jupiter, which in the days before Neptune made its appearance to us, was given ruler ship of Pisces, will be making a harmonious aspect to both bodies. Jupiter's energy is one of expansion and reaching beyond our borders. Moon dreams, Neptune spirituality and Jupiter growth --- it all sounds like a wonderful combination!

Yes, Jupiter will still be in retrograde for another month. So you will have to do a little more work to tap into that energy. Half the fun is in getting there isn't it?

Dream Away This Weekend

Prepare to dream! This Saturday and Sunday, February 1 and 2, will be a good time for pleasant or productive daydreaming. The Moon will be wandering through Pisces and making positive aspects to Pisces' ruler, the planet Neptune. Pisces is very good at sparking our imagination and making us think about "what if." 

Pisces is also excellent at escapism. Taken to an extreme this feature of Pisces can be dangerous and can manifest in alcoholism, gambling, and even suicide. However, there is nothing wrong with spending a cold weekend afternoon with a trashy novel - or a hopefully great Super Bowl. 

If you are more spiritually inclined, this would be a good weekend to meditate and get your spiritual dreams in order - it is Candlemas, after all.

Whatever you do- take a minute to appreciate the energy of a Pisces Moon and work on making your dreams come true. 

The Mother of Mother's Day

The woman responsible for making Mother's Day and institution never had her own children but started the day as a memorial to her own mother.  Anna Jarvis was not only a crusader to recognize the day she later became angry that it became too commercialized. She was reportedly upset with people who gave mom a printed card and candy that they would then share. She thought the gift should be something written from the heart just for your mom. (Boy would she be freaked out now!)

We don't have Anna's birth time but know that she was born May 1, 1864 in Webster, West Virginia. Even without the time we know a few things. One her south node, where she was coming from karmicaly was in Taurus so she had the karmic identity of being someone who wanted to around beautiful things and had a creative sense. (No wonder she wanted everyone to write a personal note to mom.)  She also had Sun in Taurus.

With her Moon in Pisces, she was compassionate, emotional and carried a bit of a martyr complex. Now I might get in trouble here but with her Chiron, the deep wound, next to her Moon I think she was overcompensating for  her own feelings of not being a "perfect daughter." I could never live up to you mom - never do enough for you mom so I will make my life's work to show everyone that I really, really did love you.

She also had Mars and Pallas Athena in Pisces - these are the warrior god and goddess - so her cause - her battle is going to be to make everyone back to Mom (whether they want to or not.)  She just had a ton of Pisces - that need to sacrifice and wear the emotionalism on her sleeve.

So as you shop for mom, make those florists and restaurants rich, all this Pisces/Taurus wanted was for you write her a note!

Get Your Ooky Spookey Hats On: A Pisces Stellium

March is Pisces month!!! More than usual, we have a Pisces-Palluza this month. Mercury is part of a Pisces stellium that includes Neptune, Venus, Chiron, the Sun, and Mars! (A stellium is five or more planets in a house or sign or both!) This is a great time to get in touch with your subconscious; to take a ride on the Astral Railroad. This is a great time for healing that taps into the deeper recesses of the mind, to do dream therapy to take that spiritual "risk."  Healing that uses water is also something to consider now - any type of water rejuvenation vibrates well to Pisces. 

Just don't get lost in the escapism that Pisces can bring - the procrastination or the feelings of be put upon and "martyred" by someone or something. 

Use this time for the benefits the Pisces can bring which is an amazing awareness of the spiritual realm that is all around us. 

"Road to Eternity" Courtesy of Arlenew.com

 

Whitney Houston - Pisces

I feel a bit ghoulish about this but several people have asked me if her chart can give us some insight as to the tragedy of Whitney Houston. The answer is fairly clear when we see her first house. Whitney was born with Pisces rising and more importantly she had a retrograded Chiron, the sacred wound asteroid, on her first house cusp. The shadow of Pisces is illusion and escapism. Pisceans in a tail spin will want to leave reality and addiction is a big problem. With her wound issue also in Pisces and right on the cusp of her personality house - which is basically I don't feel worthy to connect to the universe - I am not worthy of spiritual blessings - we can see how her demons had to be huge.

Pisces is ruled by Neptune and her Neptune ironically was in Scorpio and in the 8th house - the house which vibrates to Scorpio energy. Scorpio is a very dramatic sign and the 8th house is the house of death and transformation. It would be too pop-psychology to say she had a death wish but the idea of challenging death of going to the edge - would have been fascinating to her.

That Leo Sun conjunct Venus gave her the artistic talent and that huge collection in the 7th house - the house of intimate relations - how we connect to the other showed how she reached us deeply with her talents.

Your birth chart is an indicator of what you are dealt...it isn't set in stone. She wasn't "doomed" at birth nor did she have to develop her considerable talents. We have free will. However, some people are dealt harder hands than others.

Chiron Neptune and Pisces



courtesy of Arlenew.com

 I talked about Neptune entering Pisces a few weeks ago and the general karmic implications of having Neptune in its ruling sign. Pisces and Neptune, remember vibrate to the 12th house - the house that is our connection to the universal unconsciousness. Many astrologers say Pisces is the universal unconsciousness!


Now we have an extra added attraction to this because Chiron, the asteroid which pinpoints where we carry our deepest wound - a wound that is so painful we don't want to touch - is now in Pisces. Of course, we much transmute the pain of Chiron if we are to heal; the trick is to have the courage to do that.

The last time Chiron was in Pisces was from 1962 - 1968. Remember those fun years?

Keep in mind - and this is very important - we also had some wild transits of Uranus and Pluto at that time which is not in the cards now. Don't expect a return to the go- go '60's.

However, for the next nine years Chiron will be in Pisces and for a large chunk of this year Chiron will be conjunct Neptune in Pisces. Whatever house this conjunction transits and whatever planet it agitates in your chart you will feel a deep karmic pull. Let me explain this with a story of what happened to me. Right now, over the Washington, D. C, area and much of the East Coast, this conjunction is in the 7th house - the house of intimate relationships such as marriage and business contracts. The 7th house is an "angular house". These include the 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th houses - these are very powerful, very active houses. My natal Chiron is also in an angular house - the 4th. I am feeling this conjunction.

To make a very long story short, I found out that a large bank had totally screwed up a major account to the point where they actually had no clue how to undo their error. I went through 2 weeks of "bank hell" and finally, with the help of my ace financial advisor, got them to move on fixing the problem. Oh, did I say their screw up threatened my business accreditation and I had only one month to fix it?

Throughout this time, the bank never apologized and even had to nerve to hold up the process of fixing their mistake because they found one small error I made. Six years of major errors they made - one little paperwork error on my part and they tried to turn it around and lay all the blame on me.

It was at that point that a nerve was struck or more correctly it was my 4th house Chironic wound - of not feeling heard, of being validated and having root source - of being a grounded, accepted person. They were trying to put me in the place of little kid and it angered me. Instead of retreating into the wound - and becoming the chastised little kid - I found a way around them and basically told them what they could do with my account. I took the money out and found a new way to do what I needed to do.

So be aware of painful karmic issues that are going to pop up in contractual relationships. Look at where Chiron is in your birth chart and see how this is going to resonate with you. This is the time to clear up a lot of wound issues that are karmic in nature IF you are aware of what is happening. Don’t fall into Pisces martyrdom – don’t accept what is happening – analyze how this is making you feel and use this to transmute your Chironic wound issue.

A Pisces Stellium - Let's Take Advantage of it!

A Pisces Stellium is upon us - Did you feel like doing some more yoga this morning - maybe a bit more meditation? If you did then you have Pisces on one of your "personal planets" - Sun, Moon, Mars, Ascendant, Venus or Mercury.


Right now Chiron, Mars, Mercury, Sun, Uranus and Lilith are all in Pisces and for those of us in the D.C. are they are concentrated in the 11th house - the house of group social activities. Dare I be hopeful to think that Congress will use Pisces influence and its connection to the Cosmic Consciousness to work together and come up with legislation that will help all? Nah, more than likely Democrats will fall into the shadow of Pisces which is being a martyr and give in even more to the GOP.... oh well, I can hope.

This morning my Pisces Moon pulled me to actually do my morning yoga instead of thinking of about really seriously for a few minutes. I then lit a candle for my Pisces Mom who would have been 95 today and did some meditation.

Think of where Pisces is in your chart and reach for the high of Pisces - the brother/sister hood of Pisces - the unity with God side of Pisces. All of these planets are heading to Aries soon and all that unity will be replaced with unbridled ME energy.

Breathe now.

ARIES IN THE HOT SEAT

Ok so I heard from some of my Pisces rising friends when I detailed the saga of poor Pisces being stuck on the first house. Whine Whine Whine J So I will now show you that every sign has a house which makes it feel less than comfortable if you will. Today I will risk the wrath of Mars and explore what happens to Aries when it is placed in the house of OOKEY SPOOKY…. The house in which Pisces feels totally at home I might add…. That is, the 12th house.



“What?” (Thunder clapping in the background.) “Twelfth house again? I WON”T. I hate it. No way. I hate all that karmic crap all that touchy feely connection to past lives and connecting to the god source baloney. NO NO NO NO - hear me NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” “Oh, you ARE the god source? Oh, I didn’t mean baloney - you know when I get mad… I sometimes…..OK OK don’t get all huffy, already.”



Aries stomps off. There has to be a way out of this. After all, Aries is the warrior, a cardinal leadership sign. It can change and shape things to it’s will. Yeah, I will get someone else to do this. What better mark than Pisces. He looks to his right and sees Pisces happily communing with the universe in the 12th house.



“Oh Pisces my fishy friend. How are you today?” His voice is dripping with just enough untypical honey that Pisces incredible intuition kicks in. “Ah, fine Aries - fine. It is a beautiful day in the cosmos but what do you want.”



Aries is taken aback. Pisces isn’t quite the pushover she seems. Darn. “Oh nothing. Just a teeny weenie favor. You love being here in the 12th house and I just don’t get it. You know the compassion, the peace the joy of all as one - I gotta move, I gotta conquer I have to butt my ram head against great obstacles. Can you please - because you are such a compassionate creature - take my turn on the 12th house? Pretty please with butter?”



Pisces rolls her tail. Oh come on. “Thank you for the compliment but you know the 12th house with all that karmic connection might just be good for you. Actions have results - and you need to slow down and see your results once in awhile.”



Slow down? Slow down? This fish is bonkers. However, Pisces is starring right into Aries soul with her deep, penetrating eyes with such intensity that the warrior loses his nerve for a second. Recovering he huffs, “I have no time for THIS. I have things to do.” Pisces smiles peacefully knowing the lesson will be learned someday and swims off.



“Ouch, who the he….”



“Sorry Aries.” It is Sagittarius quickly pulling his arrow out of Aries back side. “ I just got a new quiver and oh geez that is going to leave a mark.”



“Think nothing of it friend,” grumbles Aries through clenched teeth. “But quid pro quo perhaps you can pay for pain with a little favor.”



“Sure I am all about universal justice and understanding.”



“Great, then take my turn on the twelfth house.”



“Now?”



“Now.”




“Ok sure but I promised the Unbonko people that I would sit in on a native tribal ceremony of unity and peace and well I guess I could be late. Hey, why don’t you come with me? It is a wonderful ceremony where everyone sits around and talks about how to bring justice and truth to the world in their every day actions and then there is dancing and then we eat native meals and then.”



“STOP - please you can’t be serious!”



Sag looks blankly at Aries who is pretty much jumped out of his armor at this point.



“You hurt me with your flipping arrow - you owe me now do it.”



“Oh now Aries I do appreciate you speaking the truth because I love truth - I am truth - truth is king tome -0 next to brotherhood…although it is a toss up brother hood - truth - truth brotherhood…..”



“Forget it. Not worth it!” Aries stomps off.



“Don’t even think about it ram!” Aries hasn’t even gotten to the front door of Scorpio’s dark, watery home yet.



“Huh?”



“You heard me. With my fantastic ability to cut through the crap I know exactly what kind of trick you are trying to pull so vamoose..”



Now that is spooky. Scorp is usually freaky but this time she beat even her record at perception. Aries walks off but keeps looking over his shoulder in fear and amazement.



“Oh Libra Libra Libra…my friend the balancing scales.” How are you? Eek, how do you stay on top this large medicine ball all day?”



“It improves my balance and balance is what I seek all the time. I bring people together, I see both sides of their issues ….”



“Issues, issues yes issues - I have one. I need someone to take my spot on the twelfth house and you can help lead people to examine their connection to the universe and balance their beliefs. A natural - I say a total natural at the job.” (This diplomacy makes Aries a little nauseous or maybe it is just the balancing on this stupid ball. Whatever, he has to close the deal on make another conquest…fast.)



“Well yes I would be good - I never know…but if you say I am good well then I must be. I always take the other person’s word for things. I always see myself through others.”



“Yeah it is call co-dependent city.”



Aries went to far. Libra’s eyes fill with tears. “I don’t mean too. I just always think of the other… Is that so bad? “ Aries tries to make the situation right but Libra is so upset he falls off and breaks his arm.



“Darn now you won’t be able to do this for me… I mean, oh you are hurt - poor thing.”



“That is ok, I will get friends to help me - friendship is so important. It makes us see other’s issues and balance them against our own feelings. It is all about the other…”



Libra is still babbling as he is being carted off. Aries is getting desperate and bored. No one has a shorter attention span or faster temper. The other signs are too powerful to conquer - Aries favorite way of doing things and this diplomacy is wearing him down. He walks into a huge garden in search of Earthy Virgo. She is fixing an organic poultice for Libra.



“Did you hear about poor Libra. Some fool knocked her off his scales. Who would do such a thing.”

Aries looks wide eyed an innocent. He can do it with some effort.



“Good thing I have worked all morning in the garden and I have several herbs ready that will heal him. They have to be applied quickly so have to dash off. Sorry Aries, but can we talk later? Come back around 3 and I will have organic breads and teas ready for us and we can have a nice long chant. That is until I have to organize the house again.”



“Um Ok I will try to do that - sounds grand. Yikes what is that?” Few things frighten Aries - well actually Aries doesn’t let on that anything scares him but being the baby of the zodiac he is frighten a lot and just uses his bluster to cover it. But the roar of Leo the Lion sends shivers into his military boots.



“Who dares approach the king of the jungle!”



“It is just me Leo - nice land you have hear.”



“Of course.” That is right - flattery gets you everywhere with Leo.



“Oh mighty and glorious one. Lovely hair day you are having.”



“I always do silly boy.”



“Yes of course. Oh royal one - might I ask a teeny favor of you?”



“Yeah right.”



“Well, I need someone to take over my twelfth house spot and you your royal one - will shine a light so brightly on the universe that the person will have no choice but to see how it is one with Man.”



“Of course I will. But it is not my turn and I never do anything I don’t have to. So be gone.”



“But”



“I said BEGONE.” Leo knows Aries is all armor little guts really and the roaring routine will work like a charm.


Aries heart is sinking and his mood doesn’t brighten when he reaches Cancers door. The door is normally hard to open because Cancer the crab retreats so deeply into her shell but today it is swung wide and Cancer is swimming out her arms full of baked goods and blankets.



“Did you hear did you heat?” Cancers home made bonnet is slipping she is in such a hurry. “Libra has broken her arm. I have to apply all my motherly qualities , all my nurturing and caring to get him better. Oh dear and so close to the 4th of July - you know how patriotic I am - oh and I love a parade. How can I get this done and make all my peach pies in time? Well. It will have to be done. Aries perhaps you can help me out and use your sword to cut up the peaches.”



“MY sword full of peach crap - are you out of your &&&*W** mind?” But Cancer is too far gone to hear the ranting.



“WHOA slow down with those words, Aries.” It is Gemini, the twins, the sign of duality, quickness of though and communications. “I am a wordsmith but some of those are a bit much. What is it with that temper guy?”



“OH sorry Gemini but I am having the worst freaking day.”



“YOU? I had to listen to a two hour speech by Sarah Palin.” Sitting for two hours is hard enough but what that woman does to a sentence shouldn’t happen to a buzzard. Oye. “



“Ok well if you go an take my turn on the twelfth you can have some karmic peace for a while it will help you recover.”



“No sorry twelfth house is too stable for me - I have just been sitting for 2 hours! I have to move, move, move - BYE.”



He has one chance left- Taurus the Bull. Nothing moves Taurus if Taurus doesn’t want to be moved.”



“Yes I have heard. Gemini is such a loud lout he woke me from my nap.”



“Then you will do it.. You can sleep in the peace of the cosmos on the twelfth.”



“Yes but I will have to move to get there. And I just started a new painting with my tail and ….”



“Forget it! I can’t stand it anymore. Nothing can be worse than trying to reason with you boobs. I have had it! “””



And so Aries stomped off to be on the twelfth house of some soul just being born and made darn sure they came face to face with their spiritual questions and destiny or else!

Pisces Rising, A Saga

So I am going along having a perfectly normal week – doing the charts - being the astrologer, when I enter a person’s birth data into my trusty computer and it comes up showing that they have PISCES RISING. Oh, this is never good. Who forces poor Pisces to be a rising sign in a person’s chart? It just seems so mean.


Pisces embodies the energy of what Jung called the collective unconscious. Pisces is the great spiritual ocean of energy from which all emerges. It is all about spirituality, brotherhood and union with the god source. To put it in charge of the ascendant, the rising sign which is a person’s projected persona – how they interact with the physical world -- is just mean. Pisces doesn’t want to face the cruel realities of life on Earth any more than Dick Cheney wants to face cruel reality of what he did to this country for eight years. But I digress.

I can just see it now. Pisces gets the call that she once again is on the rotation to be a rising sign. “Oh no not again. I hate it there. Put me on the 12th house – come on, twelfth house, first house, they are right next to each other. I like the twelfth house. I am happy there... please. No? Dang. Now what do I do?”

Looking to her right, Pisces sees a warrior in a suit of armor cleaning his guns. “Psst Aries, hey Aries. Are you listening? Aries, switch with me. I have to be on this kid’s first house – that is your house. It is a natural for you. I will work my connections so you don’t have a lot of aspects getting in your way, you can get out there and make this kid a dynamo.”

“Yeah but what is in it for me?”

“The satisfaction of doing good and helping a neighbor. Aries pauses for a moment trying to absorb that concept, gives up and goes back to his guns.

“Pisces, stop wimping out. Do your duty. In the name of Mars, Man up.”

“But I am a feminine sign.”

“You never heard of Margaret Thatcher? Besides, I have better things to do. I am the first of the Cardinal and first of the fire signs. I am off to blaze a new trail. Go bother Taurus she never leaves the field but she might do you a favor she is a pretty good egg and far less selfish than I.”

“Hey Taurus. Oh you lovely bull sitting in your pretty pasture. Taurus, can you do me a favor? Taurus. Do you hear me? I am talking to you Taurus.”

Taurus slowly flips her tail at an annoying bee disturbing her sleep. “Is someone calling me? Oh isn’t the sky pretty today?”

“It is me, Pisces. You know who wants to put me on some kid’s first house again. I will just mess it up – making them all confused and overwhelmed with the complexities of life. You don’t seem to be doing anything, how about helping me out?”

“Not doing anything? I am enjoying the beauty that is all around my comfortable pasture. Oh it is time for another nap.”

“Taurus, Taur….argh” Pisces wanders away from the pasture and is immediately distracted by a whirlwind of activity. Being distracted is easy for Pisces and it takes a few minutes to figure out what is in front of her. “Oh it’s Gemini, my fellow sign of duality, Gemini. How about doing me a little tiny favor?

“What? No wait I am not talking to you.” Gemini grabs his blackberry and starts texting madly while switching to the phone on his other ear. “Yes, yes of course I am listening.” With his big toe Gemini taps out another message on his computer and with a free hand grabs for his I Pad. Pisces tries to get a word in but becomes momentarily mesmerized and then horrified by Gemini’s ability to carry on a third conversation now with the use of his Bluetooth and dashes away seeking comfort.

“Cancer, oh sorry I will use your more politically correct name, Moon Child. How good to see you and oh I smell banana bread and can I climb up on the big overstuffed chair? Yes, I would love a cup of chamomile tea, thank you. Your place is always so calming and boy do I need it. Oh, you already heard? Gemini told you what I needed? But how did he …..I know, I know, he grabs the thoughts right out of your head! Will you help me out?”

Moon Child spreads a comforter over Pisces tired shoulders. “Well now dear I would love to help you out but part of mothering and nurturing is forcing your children to face life’s responsibilities.”

“But that is just it. I don’t like life’s responsibilities. They make me so tired I just want to jump back into the ocean of unconsciousness where I can float along in peace and contemplate gods and goddesses and the universe and all of those big nebulous issues. I am a fish – life on Earth isn’t natural to me.”

“I am sorry dear but you will have to do this on your own. You will thank me some day. Have a nice healthy meal and a long rest before you continue. What is your favorite lullaby?”

The next morning Pisces sadly leaves Moon Child and swims off in the direction of Leo. “This will never work,” she muttered to herself. However, she is desperate and braces herself for the bright sunlight that always shines on Leo the Lion. “Ah, Leo, I mean your majesty, your royaltyness – your holiness. Um Leo, can you please, can I beg you to ….I need a favor of your royal selfness.”

“Is there someone there? Ah my good fish, can that you fetch that mirror in the corner?”

“Ah Ok but you have 12 surrounding you now.”

“Yes, what a paltry sum! No, not that one – the big one with the lights. It is so dark in here.”

Pisces drags over the 12 foot mirror as she tries to not be blinded by the lights shining on the Lion. “Your royalty I need a favor please, a small one indeed for such a wondrous being.”

“I think I am getting a wrinkle. No!”

“Um, hi I am over here. Remember me? Pisces. Can you please do one little….”

“That hair is 1000 of a centimeter out of place. I knew it!”

The light is giving Pisces a terrific headache and Leo is now rifling through his collection of hair brushes oblivious to any other living creature in the area, so Pisces moves on, her tail becoming lower in the process.

“STOP. Your fins are dirty.”

“Hi Virgo. No, I took a long bubble bath at Moon Child’s.”

“The moment that you step out of the tub your fins get dirty. Everything gets dirty. Everything is always out of place. Order. Why can’t people keep things in order? What do you want Pisces? I have to organize stacks of paper and make a plan for my spring planting.”

“Virgo, you are so perfect to be a rising sign. Someone with you there will be efficient and effective and do all of those things Earth people need to do. You make sure they eat right and take care of themselves.”

“Well, yes I guess I am. OK I think I have a small opening in my calendar for next November.”

“No, I am up really soon. Can’t you squeeze me in? You can handle one more little detail.”

“That will throw off everything. I will have redo my ten year calendar, and that will force me to finish my taxes at 11:59 PM on January 1 not 11:00 PM as is my norm. No, no that is too disorganized for me. And then my spring planting which must take place at noon on May 15 would be kicked to three or four – oh no oh no…..”

“OK Ok, fine, don’t get yourself in a tizzy, really.”

Pisces is starting to swim in circles now. She does that when she gets overwhelmed. The only thing that pulls her out of her vortex is what looks like a shiny teeter tooter in the distance. “Bounce, bounce, up and down I bounce, bounce I love to bounce back and forth.”

“Libra, it has been so long, how are you?”

“Bounce…bounce….OH Pisces is that you? I am still swinging back and forth on my scales, weighing every issue seeing every side and always trying to bring those sides into harmony. It is a tough job but it is fun – especially for an Air sign – up and down bounce, bounce.”

“I need this favor….”

“Favor? Oh yes, I love to help people – do you need reconciliation with your spouse?”

“Not really.”

“Oh do you need me to work out a problem with your business partner?”

“Nope.”

“Whatever it is I have to help. I love to help…bounce…..bounce. Helping people is my thing. Because if I help then people like me, and people have to like me. I love, love to be liked. Approval is my thing….bounce….bounce.”

“Good then can you take over as a rising sign. You will give that person Venus beauty and a love for all things pretty.”

“Yes but that will take me away from my ….bounce….bounce…..bounce – scales….and I can’t leave them – bounce….bounce…bounce. Oh dear now you are going to hate me…bounce... bounce……..please don’t hate me – I hate when people hate me. Let me fix….bounce…..bounce….bounce…something anything for you. Please……bounce...”

Pisces is getting desperate. She has just a few more signs to go but even she, the fish, is getting seasick here. It is this fear that gives her the courage to visit her fellow water sign, Scorpio, in her deep, exotic cave. Pisces likes being back in the water but can’t figure out how Scorpio can stand all of this darkness.

“Shut the door, you are letting the light in!” The voice is sultry and deep.

“I am? Ouch.”

“Be careful can’t you see my antique ottoman?”

“As a matter of fact…..”

“What can I do for you Pisces?”

“Well I need someone to take my place as a rising sign. You represent water better than anyone and you will give the kid intensity, inquisitiveness and a sexual passion that would serve them well.”

“Yes, that is a given of course but I am just about to solve a mystery that I have been working on for years and then I have to finish watching the Sherlock Holmes marathon on PBS while I ‘entertain’ some gentlemen callers.”

“But hey water sign – to water sign. I will discuss of mysteries of the universe with you for hours if you will just do me this favor.”

“My fixed mind is made up! NO. Besides you discuss mysteries while I solve them.”

“But…”

“NO. Shut the door tightly on the way out. I see a crack of light.”

Pisces is at the edge of her rope. “I hate all of this conniving. I just want to go swim in the cosmic soup – I am part of the cosmic soup – I am the cosmic soup for goodness sakes. Why do I have to come down to Earth? I am so tired. I am so confused - I am so torn in so many directions.”

“Tallyho!”

“Oh Lord Neptune what now?”

“It is I, Sagittarius out shooting my arrow at truth, justice and the universal way.”

“Okey dokey. Um hey Sag. How about running this up the shaft, can you take over as a rising sign for me? You will bring compassion and justice and honesty to the kid and I have to admit I do love your ability to root out BS at one hundred yards.”

“Yes I would and you know I never lie. I always speak the truth. I seek the truth and speak the truth. But I am far too busy to be tied down to a rising sign right now. I have to explore all the various cultures and religions and find my own set of beliefs.”

“Can you multitask it? Gemini is a pro at that.”

“Gemini, air sign – pfffh. I am Fire, I have a duty, and I must search and learn.”

“Hey, watch where you shoot that arrow! And you are a wishy mutable sign like me – you can change your mind. Come on.”

Sagittarius is already racing away. “Sorry. I have yet to see Eastern Bezerkistan. I have to see every corner of the Earth. Maybe when I get back. Look me up before I am off to Guam in the fall. Come splunking with me one day!”

Pisces sees a tall mountain in front of her. Mountains and fish don’t get along – (another thing she hates about Earth.) However, she realizes she has just two shots left to find a replacement so up she goes into the high abode of Capricorn the shore footed Goat. This really grinds Pisces because in reality Capricorn is a Sea Goat…so what the heck is she doing hiding out in the mountains playing the role society expects of her? Another reason Pisces hates being on Earth.

“Ouch” – walking on these rocky roads is not on Pisces list of fun things to do.

“I am late.”

“Excuse me, Capricorn?”

“I am always late. We are always late. Nothing and no one is ever on time.”

“Time is a ridiculous construct. Where I live there is no time.”

“No time! What holds you together? What gives your existence form and structure?”

“Nothing. It is the great cosmic ocean of awareness.”

“Sounds dreadful. What can I do you Pisces? I have a stack of papers to grade and a thousand time sheets to correct.”

“Yes, I know Capricorn you have a lot of work to do keeping societies structures in place but I need a favor. You are so good at keeping people’s nose to the grindstone; at making them do what they need to succeed in life…you should be like the universal rising sign for everyone.”

“Yes, it would be a much more structured world and I would excel at it. After all I do excel in excelling but I have no time. I am late.”

“Time is useless.”

“Blasphemer!”

“Try it without time for once.”

“Be gone with you heretic!” With that the goat stomps her hoof and the fish is tossed off the mountain onto a passing cloud.

“This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius…Age of….” The music is deafening and as her head clears she sees a tall bearded man, with long flowing hair and a longer robe dancing around a large jug of water.

“Aquarius, how are you?”

“Pisces Que Pasa?”

“Oh it is a long story. Hey Aquarius, answer me something, how can you be the water bearer and an air sign at the same time? “

“Don’t get hung up with definitions. I am what I am – I am new I am different. I am the rebel - the revolutionary who turns your world upside down in a minute. There is nothing normal about me.”

“You know it really isn’t the Age of Aquarius.”

“Yeah but the royalties got me this great cloud where I can play with my cool electronic games, and contemplate all the ways I can influence the future.

“Place looks small.”

“Who needs riches dudette? I took most of the money and set up a universal homeless shelter. It is all about compassion for the downtrodden.” So how it is hanging, fishie? You look a little beat up yourself.”

“Not well, I need someone to be a rising sign and with your compassion and quick mind you will make a contribution to a person.’

“Oh sorry no can do Mi Amiga. I am working with that Apple fellow to come up a computer the size of a pea that will have every app. any human could need. The hard part is making him promise to give all the proceeds to orphanages. How about a cocktail – organic of course?”

As much as Pisces loves alcohol (and I do mean loves) she has had it. Pisces is resigned – a normal state for her– and trudges off to be the rising sign. “OK but I am going to screw it up. This kid is going to be confused and distracted, overwhelmed and just wondering what the heck she is doing here on Earth for most of her life. And I will have to fight not to make her susceptible to drugs, alcohol and gambling. But hey I tried, I never succeed but I try.” With that Pisces sat down dejected and sad, dreaming of the day she can once again return to her cosmic ocean of peace.